The local bar

"So,. .you want to go the local bar, you're
planning on consuming vast quantities of a liquid
poison that kills brain cells and eventually
turns your liver to stone, then, you're hoping to
have unprotected sex with a total stranger, and
your number one health concern is the possibility
of encountering second-hand smoke. . .are you
fucking nuts?" --unknown

Not to worry. There's a puritan born every minute.
It'll all soon be illegal.

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone,
somewhere, may be happy." -- H. L. Mencken,
A Book of Burlesques, "Sententiæ" (1920),
quoted from The Columbia Dictionary of
Quotations