Living long and well

I like beer, coffee, cigs, butter and eggs.

These are a large part of my daily diet.

If you can believe those studies then I'll live
to 130+.

I never understood how one could abuse an
inanimate object like drugs, alcohol or rocks,
for example. I've never heard any of 'em howl
about how their feelings are even hurt when I
talk nasty to 'em.

Anybody know to abuse one of these til it screams
in pain?

Using words that don't hold their meaning doesn't
bode well for problem solving, does it. Language
is vague enough as it is.